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LOSS Program Office
721 N. LaSalle Street
Chicago, IL 60654

Main Line: (312) 655-7283
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From the desk of Father Rubey
Friday, January 01, 2016 by Father Rubey
As we begin a new year survivors for the most part are glad that the holidays are over and all of the decorations can come down and people can settle into a new year. The Christmas carols are over for another nine or ten months and no more Christmas cards and no more feasting on the rich foods of the holidays. The New Year’s resolution can be observed for a few more weeks and then people can settle into the year 2016.
Attachments and Imprints
Friday, January 01, 2016 by by Cynthia Waderlow, MSE, LCSW
When a child begins life, its first developmental task is to attach to the caregiver.   There is no “other” as it is cradled and fed, only the cries for connection when separation is experienced.  And for the parent, the boundary between self and child seems mysteriously non-existent for a while. As the child matures and is compelled to explore the world, distancing is exciting, but also uncomfortable enough that the child looks backward often to balance the stimulation with a sense of security.  The parent, too, is attentive, even vigilant, as the young child pushes toward gradual independence.  Most caregivers will recall some anxiety as they observed this process in the small being that introduced them to the profound experience of bonding.  Most of us learn to attach and to support our loved ones’ independence without a great sense of disruption.  As we become more secure adults, we learn to give space for self-determination to those we care about.  When we carry the attached relationships within us, the connections become flexible and don’t suffer whether our loved ones are close by or in another country. Even with distance, the attachments are not disrupted.